Easter is coming. 

I love Easter. Easter’s the day we celebrate a mythical genetically enhanced super bunny that lays both colored chicken eggs and various shapes and sizes of both chocolate eggs and chocolate versions of itself both in solid and hollow form. I’ve always wondered did the variations of solid and hollow have different meanings. For instance if I bit into a hollow bunny am I not whole inside either. Is the bunny telling me keep going one day you’ll be whole. Does biting into a solid bunny mean I’m finished here and can move onto the next plane of existence. What the fuck are you telling me magic bunny who only clucks in the Cadbury ads? ( In high school I dated a chick with a bunny who thought it must be sick because it wasn’t making a clucking sound.) Bunnies are my happy place but you, you  Easter bunny torment me like no other bunny has ever done. I will decipher your meaning I will find you and you will never know its me because I’ll eat you candy eyes first.

 

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