Screaming child, pies and videotapes

There has been a story passed around the web and some shitty news services about a man who bought a bunch of pies at a fast food restaurant to spite a loud obnoxious child and equally shitty parent. I don’t think the story is true but I have hopes. The funny thing to me is how many people who are saying the man was a bully for doing such. If this story is true this man will get tickets to any show I do ever. Remember the “It takes a village”
Line. Here’s how I helped one time. Mmm pie

Long ago in my former life of a Bplockbuster employee I had two sections to keep organized. Foreign films and video games. Foreign films no problem. Video games Fucking hell. It was like a daily black hawk down situation. Fucked up from the get go. I had just gotten back from a long weekend in New Orleans where I first got my nipples pierced. I was still sorta drunk and in nipple pierced pain carrying these things the ancients called video tapes back to their rightful places on the shelves. I saw 2 kids running around destroying the video game section, my section. Thoughts of pepper spraying the kids went through my head. No I couldn’t do that the pepper spray was in the car. I needed to get these shitty post fetuses away from the extra work they were going to cause me. I had about 20 video tapes stacked in my arms pressing against my super sore new piercings when I walked over to them, got their attention and said in my quiet serial killer/sexy time voice. ” If you two don’t stop fucking up my section I’m going to set you both of fire.” No smiles, no laughs just me abusing my powers of adulthood. The kids both looked at each other, screamed then ran to their mom telling them that I was going to set them on fire. I then heard actual parenting happen and the spankings begins as the mom yelled “Leave that man alone, (slap slap)I told you not to talk to strangers. (Bang thud slap) I told you to wait here where have you two been…….(fawacka tang clop)” It was the second best day ever at blockbuster. The first. The day I quitIMG_2464.JPG

One thought on “Screaming child, pies and videotapes

Leave a Reply