Thanks Amanda. You’re an asshole, and now im a stalker.

Posted by Mo Alexander Category: comedy

For those of you who don’t know. I’m a great guy. Some people think I’m a big scary guy. Yes I have my dark side, see a certain fetish site to see proof. But I try to be more than just decent human. I’ve never killed, raped, or held anyone for ransom, I might have threatened 2 of the three but I’ve never done any of the three. The reason I plead my case here is because of my dear dear sweet friend/ chick I formally dated, I accidentally stalked my favorite commercial actress. No not in person, just online. I’m not going to give the name of said actress here because she has way to much of her actual information online

How this began. Drinking. Duh. Isn’t that how most of my stories began. After drinking pre and post show and gambling a bit in a semi local casino, we’re back in the hotel fighting over the massive 12 channels when the ad comes on. Ahhhh I just like to look at her face plus she is hot in the nerdy kinda way that I love mmmm. I make that last statement out loud accidentally and it begins

. Amanda” if you like that chick why don’t you find her and ask her out”

Me ” she has no clue I exist. There’s no way in hell I could meet her”

Amanda ” look you’re both in the same industry how hard is it to find her. Just look her up online”

Me ” No that would be insane, I don’t even remember her name right now”

Amanda “google her”

Me “No”

Amanda “why are men such cowards. What’s the worse that could happen. You look her up find her Facebook or linked in or twitter. You strike up a conversation and ask her out. She either says yes or no. She could be your soulmate ”

Me ” You are an ass. Fine let’s see I’d I can even find her name online”

 

I began a google search on certain actress and the commercial I know she’s appears in and wtf. Thankfully I’m not the only one to do this. There is an entire thread about this chick and who is she. I find her name right there, yay. I find her Facebook fan page and then her twitter. Woo hoo. Yes freaks i followed her on twitter and “liked” her on facebook. But then there is more.

Myself being in the entertainment industry there is a lot of information about me online mostly bio’s and videos and rants and pictures. If you know me personally you have access to even more info about me. Names, numbers, addresses, places I hang and the like. I’m pretty Internet savvy, I google myself often to see what comes up and what human might have negative or positive to say. I found everything on my actress

I mean everything someone talent agency who must book her for gigs has posted everything from a 2009 press pack info sheet. Every thing from height 5’10. Yay, to her cup size B and most scary her phone number. What in the hell. What uniformed casting agent posted her number online. I’m not weird but this pissed me off. So

After trying the number at 1am ( that’s 11pm L A time).

No. No I didn’t try to call, I wouldn’t do that I wouldn’t want to be called by some weird fan I’ve never met, saying they got my number online. Now that I have found all his info in less than an hour.  I feel like a stalker and I blame you Amanda for even putting me on that path. Here is the worse part. I accidentally posted on her Facebook fan page wall instead of my facebook status. What I posted got a response. My posting ” No matter what you might have heard I’m not stalking my favorite commercial actress.” her response “I didn’t say you were. Hi.”

Be very careful with your info online.

You can stalk me on facebook, twitter, instagram, and of course in person on tour check out my dates..

One thought on “Thanks Amanda. You’re an asshole, and now im a stalker.

  1. hey man, this made my day. Somehow, I don’t know how but it did. Sorry to hear that, it’s not your fault. Fuck the internet. Which now translates to Fuck the World

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