Omg someone has stolen my panties

Well I’ve been in San Fran for almost two weeks now and yes I made the semi finals of the San Francisco comedy competition. In my week between my first round and the semi finals, Jane haze and myself have been doing spots and enjoying time off. But time off for a comedian means hanging out at other comedy clubs and trying to get stage time. In the past week I’ve performed at rooster t feathers, laughs unlimited, a place called the dirty tricks saloon and a gay bar called deco where my friend Charlie Ballard put me on a gay bear themed show. I’m not gay and I’m not a bear, if i am i’m alopecia bear. Best line of the night was said to me by a drag queen standing outside while flashing me and two others. In a slightly effeminate voice while throwing back her Mohawk “oh my god someone has stolen my panties,,, And my tits ” This show was after the Folsom street fair if you’ve never been the only way i could describe it as the gayest end of bourbon street in new orleans on weed acid dmt and techno with closeted republicans wearing Mickey Mouse heads while old men on roller blades and their penises blew threw the streets. Yes I meant that as I wrote it. Anyway the one show I wish I could have been on was the very last show of The Purple Onion. The purple onion is a legendary club from the 50’s & 60’s with fake signatures on the wall from people who actually played there but never signed the wall. It was the last show cause the building has been sold and it now will be turned into a strip bar. Ive never been one to fight against a strip bar but this place is or should be considered holy. This was one of the most incredible shows I’ve ever seen in my life. Nothing but San Francisco comics some you might know most you won’t buy trust me, incredible. Fuck father Guido Sarduccie showed up and killed. Will Durst (no relation to Fred, at least I hope not) one of the most brilliant political satirist remembers me and know my name. Yay. Anyway tonight, Wednesday sept 27 starts the semi final round. 10 comics 4 shows this is one of the most challenging things I’ve ever done and I look forward to going up against some very very strong competitors. I need to make it into the finals next week. I’m not ready to come home yet.


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